When my husband, Kevin, and I met, it was just like a Hallmark movie. I was single and 30, and on an ordinary Sunday night, I went into a coffee shop to meet another guy for a date. Kevin was the barista. He struck up a conversation with me, first about coffee, and then about church, faith and ministry. (He told me he wanted to be a pastor that night).

A year later we were engaged. And three months after that, we were married. In our newlywed days, feeling connected came easily to us. We had things in common, such as an interest in church ministry, a shared passion for good coffee and enjoyment in watching movies to relax. And we appreciated spending lots of time in each other’s company.

But soon we began raising a family together, and we experienced days (and occasionally weeks) when we didn’t seem to be connecting as well. Sometimes we even felt distant from each other. Whether navigating a stressful season or just finding ourselves busy and distracted, we discovered that we needed some specific habits to stay emotionally close and keep romance strong. Here are some connection points that have worked the best for us: