Before we began to date, Greg and I were friends for more than three years. We attended the same college and had classes together. I also became close friends with his sister, Kari, and dated one of Greg’s roommates. Some of my sweetest college memories involve group activities in which Greg participated, and our easygoing friendship allowed us to discover each other’s personality in a nonthreatening way. We enjoyed many of the same activities including hiking, playing pickup basketball at the neighborhood park and bargain shopping.

As we transitioned into a romantic relationship, our friendship remained steady, and it has held us together for more than 25 years.

We found that the words of psychologist and author John Gottman ring true: “Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.” In a healthy marriage, the qualities of common kindness, honesty, empathy, loyalty and trust are gifts that each spouse gives to the other. This friendship foundation enhances relationship happiness throughout the marriage.