It’s the elephant in the bedroom: The very thing that can bring us some of our greatest marital joy can also lead to some of our deepest disappointments.

Of course we’re talking about sex. Though a new study confirms that Christian couples have better sex lives than other couples, that doesn’t mean that our sex lives are perfect. For many of us, they’re far from it.

Just ask Debra Taylor and Dr. Michael Sytsma — co-founders of Sexual Wholeness Inc. Taylor is a Christian marriage and family counselor, and Sytsma is an ordained minister, certified sex therapist and founder of Building Intimate Marriages.

Combined, they have nearly three-quarters of a century of counseling experience, and they’ve seen countless Christian couples who struggle with an unsatisfying sex life. So who better to ask for insight on how to foster healthy, God-honoring intimacy in the bedroom. Here are five things that Taylor and Sytsma want every Christian couple to know: